Goodbye Amsterdam

Bueno, I have to start packing all my house in boxes, since I'm gonna leave my most beloved little palace by the 1st of July to move into the boat. It feels quite surreal to leave this place. Together with my best friends I lived here for a year (I have always been a wanderer, even in the city-life. I've never stayed on one place for longer than a year;). It used to be an old factory and it's huge. We use it for living and working-space. I have my atelier next to my bedroom, which is great! That way I could float each morning smoothly from dream into creation. We live just out of town, on a little piece of green land. A woman who once came to visit us, said that this place reminded her of Surinam (at least one little bit of freedom in this crowded city). Swings and hammocks dance between the old trees in front of the house. It's a beautiful and peaceful place, this house, but eventhough I was born in the very centre of this town, I've never felt quite at home here. I always felt a stranger in my own country and felt the most at home in my day dreams of distant cultures and far away lands. From the moment I made my first voyage, I felt I came home. Not in some specific place but on the road. On the road I find peace and a clear feeling of purpose, since it's such a symbolic methaphore for how I stand in this life. I feel the urge to discover and to learn as much as possible about all the different people, places, treasures of this planet and the urge to discover or at least search the 'unknown' and the 'presumed invisible'. On the road, with no set destination but following the wind and the symbols each moment, I feel my specific road unfolding herself with each new step I take and with that the mystery of life. Strangely enough I feel more confident and trustful when I don't know what tomorrow will bring than when my agenda predicts me the menu for tomorrow. Agenda's make me feel emprisoned and cut off from my intuition. And since the Dutch even check their agenda's for making an appointment with a lover or a friend, I was never able to escape the habit of planning the mystery of tomorrow within the borders of my hometown. So for being able to feel free I need to escape this town. But that doesn't mean that I don't love this town and her citizens. I adore Amsterdam and the Amsterdammers. I truely believe the Amsterdam spirit is still one of the most tolerant and free foughted of the world. But she is slowly fading out. Extreme intolerance and extreme right visions slowly ban the free thinkers from the place where they once liberated themselves. It is very painful to see how this city rapidly changes into one big shoppingmall and her citizens into fanatic consumers. There is harly any time left to fight for personal or collective ideals since we are completely absorbed by the agressive process of making more and more money. Whether we want it or not. Wheter we are aware of it or not. It makes me angry and sad to see how many people who once stood on the baricades and sang for freedom and tolerance now gave up and just fight for their personal comfort. They are not to be blamed. The machine just turned them off or hypnotized them or brought them to sleep. The other and more positive side is that the few that do keep standing up and fight their own fight do that in a more refined and distinguished manner than ever. A lot of persistence and creativity is required to keep your head up and still believe that a better world is possible. And I admire those who find that strength within themselves. Since Amsterdam has a long history in the fight for freedom, many freedom searches come this way to try to liberate themselves. But sooner or later they find themselves in the mazes of intolerance and withing the fine, often invisible borders of collective supervision. I see it in the art-scene of Amsterdam. Most of it is so boring that it's even not worth anymore to visit exhibitions and performances. To my opinion the Amsterdam Art scene is rather dead, or at least in a deep deep sleep. And I don't think there is so much to do about it from within, since we're all quite manipulated and hypnotized by the 'tempering our spirits' coffee companie at every corner of the street. I don't know what they put in their cappucino's but it must be something that makes all those 'oh so interesting graphic designers and hot video artists' feeling very comfortable and make their urge to critisize transform into coffee-company-followers. The are our promise in the arts. Again they aren't to be blamed. It might really be something in the coffeeblend but that doesn't change the situation. I think, if we really want to bring some new and hopeful energy into our art-scene and liberate ourselves from our refined cappucino self sensure (since we're all day hanging out on those terraces we have not so much time left for our true passion, do we?) we have to get out of here and go and see the world! There is so much to learn from cultures that to our idea are minor and underdeveloped from ours, from countries that are our so called infuse-babies and still need to progress into the 'democratic' and 'free' war-machine that we are. There is so much ancient knowledge to discover. Information that we've lost in our '(d)evolution'. With bended heads and open eyes we should get out there and ask: Will you please forgive us for our misunderstandings. We thought we were the kings of the world, but we realise now that we are the slaves of very destructive system. Will you please forgive us for our superior attitude over the last twothousand years? And will you please introduce us to Your visions and believes? It might be time for exchange. We've been trying to bring you to submission for a very long time now. We now realize that our teachings have done quite some harm. We are now here to submit to a new and unknown way of facing the ever changing reality. Will you show me who you are. Will you teach me about yourself and will you introduce me to your world? Let's go out there and ask these questions and come back to Amsterdam (and the rest of Europe) and apply our discoveries of ancient knowledge and respect for life and others to our lifes.